Thursday, February 9, 2012

Better than the Little Engine That Could...because I know I can!

Firstly, I would like to warn you all that I have no earthly idea what I would like to "blog" about. This is my first one (ever! I can't believe it either!) and I honestly couldn't draw a more spotless blank. I guess this is where I just start writing and hope some lightning strikes or some magic happens...

Assuming that anyone's reading, introductions are in order. My name is Britten, but I usually only get called down by that. It's much more preferred if you call me Britt (or family split down the middle about the number of t's around the same time as my parents' divorce) or Bee. Until now, only my closest friends and family have called me Bee, but if that's what you prefer then I have no problem sharing that little tidbit with you:) I literally just turned twenty (yes, twenty whole years old!) yesterday, I think....It's been a rough week so the days are starting to run together. My husband, whom I fell madly and deeply in love with at the age of eighteen and married shortly thereafter--without the coercion of getting "knocked-up" or desperately needing the money or whatever other considerably more "normal" reasons there are out there for someone my age to get married--is my Hero. Yes, Justin's military, but he's MY hero for a million more reasons than that he serves our country. If there ever was a more amazing person, I honestly feel the world would be in [good] trouble:) We are obsessed with our dog, Kairi. Kairi Piper, the Siberian Husky from Hell, is as adorable and loving as they get with more personality than a lot of humans. Together, we make up our teensy weensy little family, of which I am personally very proud.:)

So, intro is always supposed to be the hardest part, or at least that's what my English teachers always told me... So why exactly is it that I made it through that just fine until I actually had to start writing the "easy part?" Well, I'll try my damnedest to get through the rest, and I'm sorry if I get sidetracked. It's really been forever since I've been able to write anything (aka mustered the resolve and sat down to do so). That being said, hopefully I'll manage to stick to whatever my topic ends up being....

There really isn't ever any time to do anything when you're married. Sure, I'm childless. Sure, I don't work and I'm still taking time off from school. Yes, my husband goes to work almost every day which gives me about ten hours to get things done while he's gone. But I just can't seem to get things done. I prefer to do housework and run errands and all that kind of housewife-y stuff while my husband isn't home, mainly because he's impatient and would prefer to have me sit and relax with him as opposed to scuttling about our apartment like Jacques from Finding Nemo. It just seems like no matter how hard I try, no headway is ever made even if I get a week of twelve hour workdays all to myself for as much cleaning and scurrying as my heart desires. Even if I manage to remove myself from my most recent obsessions (Pinterest, Facebook "yardsales," and the ever-important Etsy) I still feel like nothing is actually accomplished. Our home has been a wreck since we took vacation back home during the holidays, which is driving me borderline crazy. It's to the point where I'm considering taking on a maid for at least two or three days a week. And the Pacific Northwest is not one of the regions where you can skimp on cleaning.

The worst part of it all is that I had honestly planned to get so much done this week, but most of the days I had scheduled out revolved around running errands and finishing projects to fill orders for the small business venture (aka glorified hobby) I have going. And this is where my main grievance of the week comes in: we are a single car family, and our single car is currently out of commission. Why, might you ask, is my car sitting with a broken windshield and no driver-side window? Well, that would be because there is no way to plan on having the glass company come out to replace it when Justin's schedule is so unpredictable, like it is right now. He's currently only getting about ten hours at home every other day, which he's spending trying to sleep off his exhaustion. I don't blame him in the least, but it's just not convenient when he's only home after the glass repair company is closed and neither of us feel comfortable having me supervise them alone while they have free reign over our car and personal belongings within. It's bad enough that someone broke into and vandalized our poor little MINI Cooper (seriously, who steals an old GPS, some Polo hats and mixed cds?!)...I would just hate for something like that to happen again. So we've been waiting to be able to drive our own car since last weekend since the glass repair guys moved our appointment back twice to when we couldn't commit to a time. So now, we wait.

But those aren't the issues. The issues I'm having are all within and having to do with my recent lack of resolve to do anything. I didn't even have the resolve to come up with a New Year's resolution by the time the ball dropped...Over a month later and I'm still putting off committing to one I find worthy enough of my trial and tribulations. Not only can I not decide on anything, I can't even decide to do anything. I have this terrible tendency to put plans off and make excuses for myself so that I don't have to live up or work toward my potential. This is where the interesting part comes in: I've decided (and this is about the only thing I've decided on) that this week deserves a resolution. Not one for the whole year yet, but something to help me work toward that. My goal for the next week is to quit making excuses for myself. My husband is too tired to listen to them, my family has been hearing them for too long, and the general public is surely tired of listening to those excuses I'm so apt at making for myself. The next week is reserved only for thoughts of "I know I can." (And yes, I realize how ridiculously cheesy that sounds) The next seven days of the rest of my life are going to be the turning point, regardless of how hard I have to try to make sure I stay on top of making that turning point happen. No more sitting and pining over my seemingly endless Facebook notifications that I use as a reason to stay on the computer for "five more minutes." No more "I'll do it when I'm done with my pinboard"-esque thoughts. No more convincing myself and the people around me that I would have gotten so much more done this week "if only my car hadn't been struck by the MINI Vandal." Right now--not tomorrow, or the next day, or next week--is the time that I have to make this change in my life, before I keep bringing myself down and drag my perfectly imperfect little family down in this rut with me.

That's what I've got to say for tonight... Now time to cuddle up with my husband and puppy so that I can wake up at a decent hour tomorrow, which always seems to be the hardest part of starting my day. I can--and will--do it!

PS. If any of my Facebook friends see me online for more than five minutes tomorrow, please message me a slap in the face:)


  1. I never make New Years Resolutions. I make them on my birthday - and check them on my 1/2 birthday. It's helps keep me centered. Some years, they work out. Some years, they don't. But a MOVING person can always be redirected. A plan can always change. But if you're not moving and don't have a plan, well, change is MUCH harder. Way to go making the first step!
    Friends are here to help you along the way! :)

    1. Thanks! I'm trying! My main goal is to be in a good rhythm and a good place overall by the time that Justin deploys again. I would like for him to have one less thing to worry about and to know that I'm mentally prepared to do whatever it takes to make it through this next patrol.:)